This spell is a highly efficient form of transportation acquisition; if there is a road present, Summon Bus provides swift, cheap transport to wherever seems appropriate. Items required for casting is almost entirely up to the GM; the only invariably required item is a sign labelled “Bus Stop”. This does not have to be in any way elaborate; a simple board with the text shoddily painted on will suffice, but it has to be present.

College: Transportation

Duration: Until the bus ride is finished; after the PCs disembark, the bus will just drive into the horizon and vanish.

Cost: 5; can’t be maintained.

Prerequisites: Any Summoning spell, as well as any one spell from the Transportation College. A Summoning spell from the Transportation College is NOT accepted as covering for both; the two spells MUST be two separate spells.

Item: Book (generally referred to as a “Schedule”; rendered useless by New Year’s Eve). Energy cost to create: 95

How to cast Summon Bus:

1) The Mage sets up the Bus Stop sign at the roadside, and casts the spell. If the spell is successfully cast, a bus will arrive in approximately 5-10 minutes time. If the spell fails, the bus fails to stop; this location is not on its route. If the spell fails critically, the bus driver will deliberately attempt to ram any one of the PCs. If the spell succeeds critically, the buss will arrive almost instantaneously.

2) The PCs are permitted to enter the bus, and have to purchase tickets. At this point, it is vital that the PCs have exact change; otherwise, they will be refused passage. (However, a group ticket is available at the GM’s whim, allowing for a rounded-off cost.) If any of the PCs are unlucky, he/she/they will wind up next to any of these individuals on a single die:

Elderly lady wearing a fur coat and five gallons of cheap floral perfume.
Young, weary-looking mother with four-months-old, bawling triplets.
A very professional pickpocket. (Usually pickpocket skill around 18 or 19.)
Slightly strange-looking man muttering to himself.
Old, grumpy man with shirtflap hanging out fly. (Does not necessarily wear shirt today.)
Teenaged girl babbling loudly in cellphone. (In case of fantasy campaigns, substitute crystal ball or magic mirror for cellphone.)

3) The bus will now drive along the road to wherever the PCs desired to go; on paved or brick roads (like the Via Romana, for example) the bus will race along at about 65 mph; on dirt or gravel roads at 45 mph, and on icy roads during winter, possibly as low as 35 mph. However, if it is specified that the bus driver is from a typical redneck town (anything more than fifty miles from the nearest real city, and never with a population of more than, say, 500 in the central area; possibly a few living a couple miles out of town), the speed changes to 85 mph for paved or brick road, 65 mph on dirt or gravel road, and not at all on snow or ice.

Last note:

This spell was chosen over the slightly more accurate spell Summon Taxi, due to the substantial difference in mana cost, as well as the cost in hard cash. Furthermore, the spell Summon Taxi is, while more accurate, a lot less reliable, and prone to detours. The experimental spell Summon Airplane was discarded after the researcher met with an unpleasant demise on the first casting. Fortunately, everyone aboard the plane survived without significant injuries.

Wand of Shrimping

This wand was crafted for inscrutable purposes (though, most likely as a practical joke; the enchanter was known for having a fondness for those) to provide anyone who wielded it and spoke the magic word with a generous supply of seafood. (While its description is in singular form, it is speculated that several were made; there are vague mentions of such effects as the wand creates from vastly differing locations, many with too short a timespan between them to allow for conventional travels between the respective locations.) The wand itself is almost insignificant to behold; a small, gnarly stick of wood with a tiny powerstone (exclusive) embedded in it, smelling faintly of the sea, and with multiple shrimps carved along the length of it. Any one person who holds the wand and says the magical word, "Fa-doff" (inscribed on the handle), will activate the wand's enchantment, and 4d cubic feet of still-living shrimps will be teleported from the nearest ocean site and into the airspace immediately above the wielder with a loud FA-DOFF! If this takes place indoors, in a room smaller that the 4d cubic feet, the caster will experience an unpleasant degree of compression before doors and/or windows are torn from their hinges in a flow of tiny, gray crustacians. The Wand of Shrimping requires about two or three hours to recharge between each use.

Component Spells: Unknown.

Asking Price: $750; add cleaning costs if the PCs are dumb enough to test the wand inside the shop.

El Kabong

The enchanted lute El Kabong is a remarkable piece of craftsmanship; not only is the lute incapable of ever going out of tune (possibly strung with silver strings, but this is merely speculative), it is also utterly and completely indestructible as well as holding a secret compartment with a Hideaway enchantment. The compartment, when open, appears to be a tight fit for a dagger, but is actually able to contain up to 15 pounds without adding to the lute's weight.

The origin of El Kabong is somewhat obscured by time; the first written record of its existence is nearly three hundred years old, from the annals of a tavern bordering on the disreputable, where there is mention of the traveling minstrel Rasmus, who was observed using his lute to first parry a sword, then clubbing the drunken swordsman unconscious with it, without harming the instrument in any manner. While it is unknown whether or not Rasmus himself crafted El Kabong, there exists circumstantial evidence in a footnote regarding the incident, which mentions that Rasmus later healed the swordsman's injuries from the beating by means of magic.

Component Spells: Hideaway, unknown. (Unique)

Asking price: $1,500,000

The Buckler of Swashing

The Buckler of Swashing is truly a bizarre device, made for the truly adventurous adventurer. The buckler itself confers a number of boons to its bearer, but under several strange conditions. The bonuses it provides are +2 to all sword, knife and unarmed combat skills as well as the Buckler skill, +4 to Acrobatics, and a level of Alcohol Tolerance. The Alcohol Tolerance has no particular requirements, but the other skills have the following Great and Lesser Gesas upon them: Must be used with as many acrobatic maneuvers as possible; Cannot be used against people unable to defend themselves. The Buckler of Swashing is by no means willful; far from it, but a warrior who is inclined to stand still and wait for his opponents to come charging won't experience any bonuses from the Buckler, while someone who dives into a fight by leaping off a balcony and swinging off a rope, a chandelier or a curtain is likely to be able to walk away and enjoy a drink later. Or several, as the case might be.

Component Spells: Lend Skill, Unknown.

Asking Price: $74,500

The Calligrapher's Broadsword

Many, many years ago, there was a nobleman who, despite being quite literate and knowledgeable, found his handwriting lacking. Eventually, he sought the aid of a local enchanter, who was asked to lay an enchantment on the nobleman's faithful broadsword, that whoever had it would be able to write in the finest flowing script man could behold. The enchanter thus went to work, and within half a year, the sword was prepared; the bearer would, while he carried the sword in the scabbard, gain a +7 bonus to the skill Calligraphy. Unfortunately, the nobleman's good fortune seemed to run out a little while later, and his town was sacked by a roving barbarian horde. Amidst the rest of the loot, the sword was stolen, and was since handed around among the barbarians; the sword itself was of exquisite quality, although its enchantment had no combat value. The decades during which the sword was barbarian property did strange things to the enchantment; it was quirked in manners neither the nobleman nor the enchanter could have imagined. After years among the uneducated, the sword will only bestow the Calligraphy skill upon the illiterate...

Component Spell: Lend Skill

Asking price: "Whatever it takes to get this loser off my hands..."

The Farm Hand

The Farm Hand is a long sought-after artifact of unknown origin, though it is theorized that a patron deity of farming was involved. Nobody quite knows how, where, when or by whom it was made, but most written sources agree on these points:

It is an exquisitely carved wooden hand, with seven fingers, open, palm up.
It is comfortably warm to the touch, even in winter.
If buried in a field, that field will produce vastly superior crops, and any problems will seem to head elsewhere. Fungal infestation, bad weather, insects, nothing will seem to strike the field in which the Farm Hand lies buried.
When the time comes, the farmer will find that the crops, whatever kind, will be astoundingly simple to harvest; potatoes will shake off soil almost by themselves, corncobs will seem to just fall off the stalks and into the nearest basket, straws will lean against the edge of the scythe for a swifter cut...

Wherever it is, it brings a marvelous prosperity.

As such, many desire this item, but none knows where it lies hidden to this date. Some clues might be found in temples devoted to gods of farming and such, but often, these lead only to wild goose chases... and the Farm Hand remains concealed still.

Component Spells: Unknown.

Asking Price: Priceless.

Holocaust (VH) Area

This spell, once fully cast, will drain the power it requires from every possible source within five miles... and age everything in the same area. This spell does not discriminate in any manner; everything in the affected region is pretty much doomed. Including the caster. (Resistance rolls are permitted as often as the GM cares, but that's really just postponing the inevitable - unless the characters are able to teleport out, they're dead. And with Holocaust draining their power, they're unlikely to be able to cast another spell anyway.) This spell can, for obvious reasons, not be learned from a tutor - it must be studied in a book. Nobody has, however, survived practicing the casting of it. The spell automatically fizzles into nothing when everything living within a five mile radius is dead.

Duration: Permanent.

Cost: 20 for initial casting; powerstones may be used. After that, the spell powers itself.

Prerequisite: Steal Strength, Age.

Hermolus' Sensory Sharing

Long ago, there was a talented physician named Hermolus who realized that all standard methods of diagnosis were woefully inadequate; often, patients could not accurately describe pains, or misinterpret those pains, causing an erroneous diagnosis, with subsequently dangerous treatments, sometimes killing the patient, or at least leaving the patient no better than he was upon arrival. With this frustration in mind, Hermolus sought out a friend, an old, skilled mage, who was asked to devise a means for a physician to personally determine the patient's aches and injuries, to aid an accurate treatment. It took almost a full year, but finally the mage came to Hermolus with a small stack of small physician's guides. Within every one of those books, the mage had added a single page, bearing the spell "Hermolus' Sensory Sharing", which would allow any individual to share with another individual all physical feelings, and vice versa. The spell, which could be learned and cast even by non-mages, would thus allow the physician to feel where the patient hurt, as well as allowing the patient some relief from his agonies, as the medic's healthy senses would be transferred in part to the patient. Theologists have occasionally claimed that since the spell can be cast by non-mages, it must be a prayer rather than a spell, but as it taps directly into the mana, and doesn't seem to invoke any divine entity, these complaints tend to fall short. Incidentally, it would appear that this spell has been copied extensively, and become quite popular in various houses of somewhat dubious repute...

Cost: 3

Time to cast: 10 seconds

Prerequisite: None.

Item: Ring or necklace. Some have suggested that certain healers have had the spell effectively enchanted into some manner of magnifying lens of some sort, as well, though this was never confirmed.

The Pipe of Stoning

The Pipe of Stoning appears to the unaware observer to be a perfectly ordinary pipe, masterfully crafted as an ivory mouthpiece and a small clay receptacle. The two parts can be separated, but function best when together; whenever some plant substance (anything from leaves to grass to splinters of wood) is lit in the pipe, the smoker will become comfortably euphoric and relaxed, and will feel as though his senses have been vastly improved. (In fact, he will suffer a -1 to IQ for any sensory roll or learning roll, but gain Injury Tolerance due to reduced sensitivity. If the character already has Injury Tolerance, nothing happens. The effect will wear off after 4-6 hours.) A side effect is that any individuals standing within 10 feet of the smoker will become stoned. Physically, with stones, within a two week period. This will occur in any manner possible; kids throwing rocks, cave roof collapsing, etc., but the result will be that anyone within 10 feet of the smoking pipe will suffer blunt trauma soon. The smoker himself is immune, provided he uses the pipe with its original mouthpiece. If the pipe is used with another mouthpiece, the stoning effect will also apply to the smoker. If the smoker uses only the mouthpiece with a different pipe, he will find himself safe from any propelled geology for the next two weeks.

Component Spells: Mouthpiece - Missile Shield variant. Pipe - Unknown.

Asking Price: $1700

The Judas Gear

The Judas Gear is named for its deceptive nature; it will always take the form of something a party member needs, and it will always appear as a gift from a trusted friend...

To be more specific, it magically seeks out the leader of the party; the one who seems to be in charge of the group. It is uncertain who made the Judas Gear, but whoever it was must have truly hated leader types. The owner of the Judas Gear will approach one of the party leader's most trusted companions with an offer: to take some random item (which the party leader happens to be looking for) off the current owner's hands; he's even willing to offer 30 silver coins for it. (No more, no less.) The owner, if asked, will probably come with some odd reason for this generosity, like "I just hate the color" or "it clashes too much with everything else I have", but will not be likely to tell the truth. (+8 to Will to resist any form of interrogation.)

What will invariably happen next, is that the person who got the item will keep the coins to him- or herself and give the piece of equipment to the party leader, as a gift. ("You needed one of these, right?") The item will appear to give off some sort of beneficial bonus - anything at all that the wearer could need, at the GM's leisure. As soon as the party leader then comes into physical contact with anyone - this includes any form of hand-to-hand combat, by the way - the item's enchantment will start working: a high-powered Steal Health variant spell that channels the health from the party leader to whoever he's engaging; this variant has no other limitation than that it stops either when the item is removed from the wearer, or when the wearer dies.

Whichever of these outcomes, when the nature of the item is divined, whoever first got it will be stuck with it again, now knowing about its true nature. He will then assemble thirty silver coins, and try to get rid of the artifact in the same manner that he got it in the first place... and so the cycle begins anew...

Component Spells: Steal Health variant; unknown.

Cost: "Look, I'll give you thirty silver coins, if you'll just take this hideous thing off my hands!"

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Odd Magics

Spells and Items for GURPS

Copyright © 2002 By Warpmind de InzanE